*Disclaimer: there will be
coarse language used in this post, if you’re easily offended and get sand in
your vag, fucking deal with it, you may be part of the problem. Straws and tampons
ladies, either suck it up or plug it up.*
And now
for my second part, Drama Queens. This one is particularly irksome to me,
mainly because I seem to be surrounded by them on a daily basis. Now I do
understand that there are instances that cause drama, and in some cases they
really can’t be avoided. I’m not talking about that. No, I’m talking about the
girls that claim that they don’t like drama but seem to cause it every chance
they get. Whether it’s picking fights with people for perceived slights like my
ex roommate (and ex husband), committing petty revenge on someone, or causing
havoc by creating uncomfortable situations, each one is just as repugnant to
me.
1.
Let’s
pick a fight: This one bothers me because in some cases she will fly off
the handle over a perceived slight when in fact nothing was done wrong. Trying to
reason with this one is like talking to a brick wall. Not gonna fucking work,
and it’s a waste of breath. The only way to combat this is to tell her the
information when she is a lot calmer. Try to tell her anything too soon and it
starts all over again. Sometimes the issue becomes clear to this one, however
their pride prevents her from admitting it and will cut you off for no reason.
a.
Example: Drama
Queen: “Why isn’t there any toilet paper in the house?”, me: “because you used
it all and didn’t buy any more, I haven’t been home for the last 3 days and you
never told me that we were running low”, Drama Queen: “Fuck you bitch, why the
fuck should I replace it?” (please note that this was my roommate telling me
this), me: ”Excuse me? I bought almost everything in this house for the
past month and barely got to use any of it, between you and your loser
boyfriend I have spent more on food and
toiletries in the last month, than I ever had to do with my ex husband and I,
and I’m barely here most of the time.” Drama Queen: “Whatever bitch.”
2.
Petty
Revenge: in these cases she’s got issues where she feels that she needs to
be in control of everything. And when she doesn’t have that, she’ll backstab,
or whatever she feels would warrant the situation. This includes but is not
limited to property damage, slander, exposing sensitive secrets to anyone who
will hear, filing false police reports, and so many other things. There’s not
much you can do except for when you realize her for what she is, (hopefully you
aren’t the object of said revenge) you get the fuck away… FAR AWAY! If in the
event that you are the subject of said revenge, you do what you can to perform
damage control, and then get the fuck away. However, if the situation is bad
enough, such as sabotage, property damage, or slander, there may be some
recourse for you in the legal system. Especially if the issue is going to cause
you significant issues over time.
3.
“And let
the havoc begin…”: This one has many forms. Sometimes it takes the form of
a hypochondriac, someone who suffers from Munchausen by Proxy, addicts in various
stages of recovery, or someone who combines the previous with this by sleeping
with someone else’s significant other. Here’s a way to deal with some of these
particular individuals.
a.
Hypochondriac:
This one is in and out of the hospital or the doctor’s office more than a dick
in some porn stars. She’s constantly complaining about this or that being
medically wrong with her. It seems that she’s on a fist full of pills for one
reason or another. You almost suspect that she’s addicted to at least one prescription
or another and is a pill seeker. The best way to deal with this one is to gauge
whether or not the issue is valid and whether or not it’s worth it or not to
call her out. There are many reasons for this one to rear its ugly head. Whether
she had a rough life growing up for one reason or another, or she isn’t getting
enough attention now, it really isn’t your business. Sometimes it is best to
just walk away.
b.
Munchausen:
This one is particularly dangerous because they not only cause drama, but
in some cases it can cause physical harm to someone who should never have to
deal with this. Usually the victim of the proxy is a small child. The best way
to deal with this one is to get involved in the victim’s life in some way, in
some cases report the issue to the authorities, and recommend that she gets
help.
c.
Sleepers:
This one is particularly disgusting because if you are the one who had your
significant other sleep with this one that can put you in danger of some nasty
little hitchhikers known as STI’s (sexually transmitted infections for you non
acronym savvy people). These can range from embarrassing to life changing. The best
way to deal with this one is to leave the one who cheated on you and let them
make their best impressions of bunnies if you know what I mean. They’ll figure it out soon enough and you’ll
be none the wiser.
d.
“Oops I’m
pregnant”: This one kind of belongs with the previous one but it has a few differences.
This one belongs with those who are in a same sex relationship, and you find
out that she cheated on you, with a guy… The best way to deal with this is to
decide whether or not it is worth it to stay or go, and whether or not it is
worth it to forgive her. I know of a few relationships where this was a
complete relationship killer.
e.
The revengeful
over-sharer: this one belongs with the previous full section but often the
case is that what was shared, had no business going outside the two of you, and
is causing a lot of hate and discontent among the people it was shared with,
particularly aimed at you. If you are not one the over-sharer is trying to
hurt, the best way to deal with this is to tell her “Why the fuck are you doing
this? I don’t care, leave me alone, and stop causing drama.” Then go to the one
who she is trying to hurt and give them the heads up in a way that isn’t going
to get them mad at you. If you are the subject of the over-sharer’s wrath, call
her out, and set the record straight with those who she contacted. In some
cases you may have to do some preventative damage control if necessary.
f.
The attention
whore: This one obviously didn’t get enough love from mommy/daddy/legal
guardian. It ranges from getting in trouble with law enforcement, causing
fights at the club/bar, getting so fucking drunk that she’s a fucking mess that
can’t even walk on her own, acting-a-ho, etc… depending on the severity you
either give her the attention she needs and then recommend that she gets help
with her “daddy” issues, take her to the nearest emergency room and drop her
ass off, call law enforcement and have her taken into custody (especially if
what she’s doing could harm self or others), or get her family involved in
getting help. What you do with this one is up to you.
Of course there are more types of
drama queens out there, but this was just a sampling of a few that I’ve
recently had to deal with. That’s not to
say that there won’t be addendums to previous posts at a later date. I know from the rate of this, I’ll have a lot
of writing to do when it comes to our stereotypes. Until next time… TO BE
CONTINUED…
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