*Disclaimer: there will be
coarse language used in this post, if you’re easily offended and get sand in
your vag, fucking deal with it, you may be part of the problem. Straws and tampons
ladies, either suck it up or plug it up.*
Ladies,
have you ever wondered why we have so many stereotypes placed on ourselves?
Have you ever wondered why guys say some of the stupidest things about us when
seemingly that they don’t know what they are talking about fully? Well the sad
thing is, is that in a lot of ways we did it to ourselves. The things that get
plastered through pop culture get plastered on us in our daily lives. From the way we dress, to the way we act, all
the way down to the way we talk. I’m going to name just a few and do my best to
pick them apart from my perspective.
“Damn that girl’s a ho” “Eww…
Skank” or others of the like: First off, I will say that of course not all females
are hos/skanks/insert negative sexually active slur. There are plenty of women
out there in the world who are truly and honestly wholesome women. They don’t sleep
around; they’re genuinely nice without having ulterior motives, so on and so
forth. What I’m going to take on are the people who are perceived to be a “loose”
woman.
So the
question is; why are so many ladies perceived as such? I’ve noticed in the
short time of my existence, that often these ladies (and I use the term loosely
in some cases) are often the party girls. These girls often have had a slew of
boyfriends/girlfriends before the age of 25, and many are “known” to have put
out to many of them. Some were putting out on the first night, or very early on
in the “relationship”. That being said: if you’ve had your way with many
guys/girls and the relationships don’t last, is it really beyond the scope of
perception that you are a loose woman? Have you maybe tried to figure out
exactly why the relationships didn’t work out, or did you just blame the other
party for ditching you for someone else/ cheating on you? Have you sat down and
actually looked at yourself and tried to get to the root of the issue as to why
your relationships aren’t working, and why you keep having the same issue of it
doesn’t last? Chances are you’ve probably said yes to a lot of these, but in
all actuality you are probably lying to yourself. More often than not the
answer is no to all or at least part of it. In my experience I’ve noticed that
in a lot of ways these girls need validation and affirmation of sorts. Whether it’s
feeling like they are worth being loved, that they are beautiful, or any other
thing that they are insecure about, often the string of relationships is an
attempt to find that missing thing in them. The problem with this is that it
rarely works. She’ll get hurt, whether it’s physically or emotionally, and then
the whole relationship will just go completely south from there. When that
happens, the relationship ends and she’s faced with her insecurities again. When
that happens she seeks comfort in the arms of the next person who will give her
the time of day. Sometimes it ends up in a one night stand; sometimes it ends
up in another relationship. Either way
she started the cycle all over again, whether she realizes it or not. This cycle
isn’t invisible to others, people in your circle will notice. When they notice
that is where the trouble starts. The perception of “ho-dom” starts when you
(the perceived ho) keep running through guys/gals like you’re a chain smoker
with a carton of cigarettes, this is especially true if you start dating people
within your circle. Humans have this uncanny ability to run our mouths to other
people, especially when we have some information that could be detrimental to
another person. We can be especially cruel when doing this. Gossip is rarely
ever good. The little old ladies in town are going to talk about the negative
things that they see more often than the positive. Of course they talk about
the positive, but the negative often spreads faster than the positive stuff. It’s
just in our nature to do so. When word spreads, people make assumptions. Most often
those assumptions are based off of incorrect or incomplete information. What’s
difficult is correcting that information in a large group without making you
look like a fool.
In all
honesty the best way to keep yourself from looking like a ho in the matter of
relationships is to not rush into a relationship in the first place, and for
god sake be picky about who you sleep with. If you gain a reputation of not
putting out on the first night, and waiting until you actually get to know the
person, you’ll find that your relationships are probably going to last longer. Make
your partner earn the right to get into your pants and they’ll most likely
respect you more.
The second
part of this is looking like a ho. If you don’t want someone to stare at your
tits, ass, etc… don’t dress in something that barely covers the asset that you
are having a problem of people looking at. If you want a guy to look you in the
eye, don’t wear a top that has a neck line that goes to your belly button. If you
have a problem of people staring at your ass, don’t fucking wear shorts or
skirts that barely cover your butt cheeks. Don’t wear pants that are skin
tight, especially when you are wearing chonies that have a significant
panty-line. Don’t wear dresses that when you lift your arms or sit down it
becomes a shirt. When you’re out on the beach, wear a swimsuit that covers more
than just your crotch and your nipples. If you don’t want them to stare, don’t give
them any ammo. There are plenty of fashions that are flattering that don’t bare
it all. I’ve talked to guys and often times they are more interested in the
woman that isn’t bearing it all. It leaves more to the imagination. If you have
a problem with people looking at you, either get over it or change how you look
to draw attention away from yourself. Now on the flip side, if you don’t give a
fuck, and you don’t care if they look, then don’t give a damn if someone thinks
of you in a negative light. What others think of you should have no bearing on
what you think of yourself. You are you, they are themselves, if they have a
problem with you; they can fuck off. It’s that simple. Just don’t be surprised
if you are labeled as a ho.
This brings me to my final point of
the day. Humans for some reason cannot seem to go through the day without putting a label on something or someone. It is
an attempt to organize and categorize their lives. Everybody (and I do mean everybody)
does it. Whether you’re the richest person in the world to the lowliest
homeless person, across all walks of life, every race, every creed, color, orientation,
and every gender, it doesn’t matter. So knowing
this, realize that everybody has a label for something. It’s going to happen. It
may piss you off. It may hurt your feelings. However it’s a fact of life that
we all are just going to have to deal with.
